I 100% have been avoiding updating this blog, so apologies for that, but it’s one of those sorry, not sorry moments. I just wanted a break. I have just checked and it has been nearly 7 weeks since I posted anything and there is one major difference now; chemo has finished. I could still honestly cry when I think about that phrase and how it makes me feel.
So what’s happened in the last 7 weeks? Well, I had another middle-of-the-night trip to A&E for some mystery back and chest pain (I low key thought I might have been having a heart attack) but they couldn’t find any cause so after a mere 9 hours I was sent home. My last admission to hospital for chemo (or so I thought) then came earlier than I wanted (the next day). A miscommunication between various parties meant that my chemo was prescribed already and I had a surprise phone call saying that they had a bed for me (a whole three days early, lucky me) and so the final round began.
|6||No chemo! (But 7th lumbar puncture boo 👎)|
|9||2 units of blood|
|11||Fluids began in preparation for yet more chemo|
|12||LAST BAG OF CHEMO (and fluids)|
|13||Temp spike (surprise, surprise) so antibiotics started (and fluids)|
|14||Unit of platelets (and fluids…)|
|15||Fluids still going…|
|16||Yep you guessed it, more fluids|
|17||FINALLY ALLOWED HOME|
So much easier than typing it out, why wasn’t I doing it in table form from the start?!? The last bag of chemo was the one I had serious anxiety about. It’s a drug called methotrexate and it’s given in one high-dose, 24-hour infusion and is proceeded by intense hydration for the following 4(ish) days until the amount in your blood drops below a specific threshold. And when I say intense hydration I mean it. I’m talking about weeing out nearly 7 litres in 24 hours. If you thought it was difficult to sleep in hospital ordinarily try having to get up every 2 hours to piss like a racehorse. But that’s not the reason I was really dreading it, it was because it nearly always causes mucositis which, in case you can’t remember from the last time I had it, is “painful inflammation and ulceration of the mucous membranes lining the digestive tract”. Just think about those words for a second. Think about where the digestive tract starts. And where it ends. And now imagine ulcers in all those places. Yep. V̶e̶r̶y̶ ̶p̶a̶i̶n̶f̶u̶l. Complete and utter agony. It was actually worse this time, which I wouldn’t have thought was possible and lasted 2 whole weeks. Two fucking weeks (pardon my French). All I ate was ice-cream and soup for 2 weeks. Swallowing felt like shards of glass and for 3 days I couldn’t talk. Oh, and my nose bled all the time because there were ulcers up there too, so that meant two more units of blood and another unit of platelets. I also had to have my 8th and final lumbar while feeling totally pants, but I was ecstatic that they were all finished and that I wouldn’t have to have any more. I hope you never have to endure one lumbar puncture let alone eight.
If you’ve not experienced chronic pain that lasts for a substantial period of time let me tell you it really tests you as a person. After I was discharged from hospital I still had my twice-weekly clinic appointments at my cancer unit and they could tell instantly just how much pain I was in and how utterly shite I felt from my demeanour, and surprise, surprise I ended up back in the hospital again after another temperature spike #frequentflier. Three days of antibiotics and I was sent home. FOR THE VERY LAST TIME.
I have one more day of treatment left in six days time. It’ll be my 8th and final dose of rituximab, which is the chemo-that-isn’t-really-chemo stuff. It’s that immunotherapy/target therapy drug that tricks my own immune system into hunting down those pesky cancer cells and unceremoniously evicting them from my person. Although the nasty stuff, the real chemo, has already finished, next Thursday will still be a pretty momentous occasion; the last treatment. The last time chemicals are pumped into me. They’ve even said that they can take my PICC line out (consultant permitting) as soon as the infusion is finished so I can finally be less Borg, more human.
Addendum: my consultant’s name is Dr Borg which as a Trekkie has pleased me greatly.